Friday, January 22, 2010

Where is Me?

Yesterday, Kameryn came home with this picture for us. It was taken late in October at Parents' Night for the football team. We got to be introduced because Kameryn was the student trainer for the team & Kade was a water boy. As I was looking at the picture, Kaya came to sit on my lap & immediately said, "Where is me??" Up until that game, she had been to EVERY football game. The girl loves to be anywhere all of us are. However, that night, Kiki offered to babysit b/c it was rainy, bitter cold, miserable Ohio weather.



So, I tried to explain to her all the reasons she was not included in this picture. She looked at me with very troubled 2-yr-old eyes and said again, "Where is me?" At that point, all my reasons seemed lame & it broke my heart b/c she really felt left out of something she thought she should be a part of.

For some reason, this really stuck with me. Well, you know, outta the mouths of babes...yep, she was my teacher today as I realized why it hit so hard (you know, like a 2 by 4). I began to wonder how many "pictures" of my life God would look at & ask, "Where is me?" Sure, in the "big stuff" I desperately seek to pull Him in, talk to Him about it, ask for His guidance, protection, provision, etc. But how about the details? That's the part I can really stink at. Really.

Lately, I have found myself overwhelmed with worries, impatience, feelings of discouragement, basically uncomfortable with life. Then, I beat myself up for not be focused on the fact that God wants to be in the details, that He has the details taken care of. Ugh...not a good place to be. I think for some reason we think God works in the big stuff, & then the details are left up to us. Wrong.........

So, right now, I pray for God to enter into this picture that He has already created so that someday when we look at the picture together, instead of God saying, "Where is Me?" & me having a bunch of nonsense for excuses why He's not there, He can look at the picture with a smile & say, "There I Am...right in the middle of it all".

6 comments:

Meredith said...

Oh my goodness... I did NOT know you lived in Ohio....

pure craziness.....

not too sound too horribly stalkerish but if you live around NE-Ohio Cleveland/Akron area I'd love to meet sometime and hear about your journey...

Before Gabe we were working on our paperwork to adopt from Ethiopia, now with Gabe, it's been put on hold for a bit, mostly for the financial aspect.... but soon we'll begin again!

I love hearing about your journey, and esepcially sweet little Kaya!

God Bless!

Dardi said...

Meredith--I thought that, too! Didn't want to freak you out, but I would love to chat! My email is in my profile (I think I checked to see if yours was listed once, but didn't see it on your blog), so send me an email when you get a second. Kaya would looooove to meet Gabe!

Talk soon ~ Dardi :o)

Doug and Monica said...

Dardi,

Wow!! How powerful!! Yesterday was a horrible day for me. Not surprised considering we got our court date the day before:) All day though God was saying to me, "Where is me?" Thanks so much for being vulnerable and sharing this! It has challenged me in an amazing way!

Amy said...

Awesome post my friend. Thank you. Miss you! Amy

Adeye said...

Oh wow---that is just incredible. What a fabulous post!!!! Wish I lived closer to you :)

ajnrileysmommy said...

very convicting! thanks for sharing!