Of Attachment & Tomato Plants

Just the other day, I finally put my tomato plants in the ground. For any of you "professional" gardeners out there, I am fully aware that this is very late in the season. However, I learned last year that with a little TLC, you can still bring them up to speed just fine. (Last year I had a legitimate excuse for them being planted late due to preparations for Kearsten's graduation party...this year, no excuses, just cuz!)

Anyway, a couple of posts ago, I was really struggling to find the words for K'Tyo's attachment & bonding update. As I was preparing my small garden by the garage & planting my tomato plants, I had another "moment" that helped me sort through some of my heart about this little boy's adjustment into our family (hang in there with me...I know it's not glamorous, but it made sense, so I'm going with it).

Like these tomato plants, K'Tyo came to us a bit "bigger". Like preparing my garden for the plants, I had done a lot of "preparing" for this little boy to enter our family in the form of reading all kinds of attachment literature, listening to other adoptive parents' stories, etc. While I think it's so important to go into any situation in life as educated as we can be, I think we can forget that some things are not "text book"; every situation is different & needs to be lived out & appreciated for it's uniqueness.

Such is the case with our little man. He's been plopped into this family after having already done a good bit of growing. And he is thriving. And we have watched & waited for the bottom to fall out. However, just like I do not sit & analyze my tomato plants every day on how they are growing & developing, I need to not do this with my son, either. In other words, I need to stop over-analyzing every little thing looking for "weeds". The "weeds" come in every child's life, adopted or not, so you tend to them when they come. So far, no weeds.

One of the main reasons I plant tomatoes is because I thoroughly enjoy watching them grow & produce fruit. Sounds a little like why I love bringing up a child.

New Baby

I got to hold my new niece, Lila Grace, today...2 weeks old!!!

So, so precious!

Hypothetical question: Do I look too old to have one this little (again)?

Just wonderin'....... ;o)

Answered Prayer

Man, I've been a lazy blogger lately. Naw, not lazy, just busy. I've really been wanting to post an update about K'Tyo's adjustment, but it's been a little hard to find the words. Honestly, I sort of feel guilty because our transition with him has been incredibly smooth thus far. He is showing signs of healthy attachment, reacts well & appropriately to new experiences, & continues to smile! Every now & again he needs correction, but so do my teenagers. I like to think of those moments as opportunities to teach & to re-enforce that we love him, even when he goofs.

I guess the reason I feel guilty is because I know that it's been really tough for some, & that's what I had been preparing for, too. So, I think that's another reason I haven't posted...because I have been certain that the bottom would fall out any day now. Well, it hasn't, & I've had two "moments", if you will, that are kicking my butt out of that mode of pessimistic thinking. It's not that I expected him to be horrible. Not at all. I just know that these children have been through way more than I can wrap my mind around, so it's important to be sensitive to that.

First of all, Joe mentioned this to his secretary (the part where we are so surprised by how well everything has been going). She just looked at him and said, "Why are you surprised? Isn't that what you've been praying for?" Oh. Those 2 by 4's of faith...mmm. That night, I pulled out my prayer journal. Over & over since we first saw his face, we have said prayers that God would be preparing his heart for his family. Ahhh, how many times do I pray & then live like I don't believe they will be answered?

The second "moment" happened over the weekend. We took Kyler to football camp, & we take a country road to get to the interstate. K'Tyo immediately remembered going this way before & got very excited b/c the first time we had traveled this road, Kami had told him to put his hands in the air, like when on a roller coaster, when going up & down a series of hills. We all laughed as his hands shot straight up just like the last time...he was ready for the thrill! And it hit me...he's been ready for the thrill. And continues enjoying the ride, even over the bumps. Each new day brings new opportunities for adventures with his family, & he continues to be open to every new experience as long as we're along for the ride.

I think maybe it's time for Mommy to be thankful for answered prayer & to put her hands in the air, too......Seems like a good plan for this roller coaster of life!

Awww....

This has not been a great blogging week for me. Before we get to the "awww", I feel the need to whine for just a moment. I think I mentioned in my last post that Joe has begun his classes for the doctoral program. We knew going in that the initial phase would be the toughest, and that is no lie. It is kicking our butts. Yes, "OUR" is correct. He is still working full time, teaching an extra class & then gone the other nights & Saturdays for his doctoral classes. When he is home, he is researching or writing papers, which then I get the pleasure of editing & typing. We've always been a team, & we will continue to be a team through this, but I gotta say, I am sooo ready for June to be over. I cannot stand wishing time away, but I am ready to revisit some sort of normalcy! Until then, I will continue sucking it up, but be warned...he has to live on campus week after next, so not sure what type of blog posts may come from that week! (Seriously, he checks into his "dorm" on Father's Day...ugh).

Ok, pity party over. For your viewing pleasure, some sweetness from the two littles:

Sunday Snapshot: {17 Years}

I had really great intentions. I really did. Joe & I celebrated 17 years of being married yesterday...17 years!!! On one hand it seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye, and yet, it seems that he's always been a part of my life. I thought I might scan & post a picture from our wedding day. *sigh* It might be just as well that I didn't. I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to subject myself to the public humiliation of actually showing what I had done to my hair back then (anybody remember the mushroom cut? nuff said). Maybe I'll just save that precious gem for our 20th, so you'll just have to wait.

So many memories, but one in particular really sticks out this year. When Joe & I got married, I was part of a package. I had two little (very little) girls, which he later adopted. I remember saying to him that if the roles had been reversed, that I didn't think I would have looked twice at him because I wasn't sure I could love a child I hadn't given birth to. Can you just see God smirking & shaking His head at me? Truly, I have been blessed to walk this journey with a faith-filled husband who encourages me to look upward & then has held my hand over & over as we've taken leaps of faith together. We've had those moments where we've taken the "for worse" part of our vows for a test drive, but thankfully, we've been committed to enduring that scenery together knowing that we'd find better again.

Well, anyway, as I said before, I had great intentions of getting some fun pictures with my husband outside either yesterday or today. However, I have spent over 6 hours...6.HOURS...editing & typing a paper for his doctoral class (does that go in the "worse" category??) today, and yesterday (our actual anniversary) was supposed to be spent at the ball field watching Kade play baseball. When it got rained out, we opted for a super-glamorous celebration: pizza rolls & watching Tarzan with the kids. It was awesome! :o) And tonight when I realized that I still hadn't gotten a picture, we grabbed the camera & Kyler & headed out front. It was the only option since our living room has been invaded by teenagers & the littles were having a tough time settling in for bed, so this was it.....

No lip gloss, no fancy backgrounds, just us...just the way I like it! Because really, at the end of the day, we have each other, & that's a wonderful thing.

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To join in Sunday Snapshot and/or check out some other posts, click on the pic!

Through Their Eyes

Do your children ever make you pause & just see things in a different way? And then make you laugh at yourself for pondering something in such depth even though it's really so simple? And then you feel like a complete goober because you are now completely choked up over the whole thing? Oh, mercy, motherhood is turning me to mush.

I overheard the two littles talking (they converse really well even though K'Tyo has only been home about 4 weeks now), and then they were laughing, and then they were quiet. The quiet part is when Mommy's radar goes off, so I tiptoed around the corner to see what was happening. This is what I found:


My two babes mesmerized by the raindrops. I mean, we've got Toy Story on the t.v., toys in the toy room, and here they are. I'm beginning to notice a pattern here. This is where I found them the other day:

I think I can learn a lot from these two little boogers. Simplicity really makes for the best entertainment, and just being together is ever so sweet.

Wordless Wednesday {Memorial Weekend}