Monday, June 28, 2010

Of Attachment & Tomato Plants

Just the other day, I finally put my tomato plants in the ground. For any of you "professional" gardeners out there, I am fully aware that this is very late in the season. However, I learned last year that with a little TLC, you can still bring them up to speed just fine. (Last year I had a legitimate excuse for them being planted late due to preparations for Kearsten's graduation party...this year, no excuses, just cuz!)

Anyway, a couple of posts ago, I was really struggling to find the words for K'Tyo's attachment & bonding update. As I was preparing my small garden by the garage & planting my tomato plants, I had another "moment" that helped me sort through some of my heart about this little boy's adjustment into our family (hang in there with me...I know it's not glamorous, but it made sense, so I'm going with it).

Like these tomato plants, K'Tyo came to us a bit "bigger". Like preparing my garden for the plants, I had done a lot of "preparing" for this little boy to enter our family in the form of reading all kinds of attachment literature, listening to other adoptive parents' stories, etc. While I think it's so important to go into any situation in life as educated as we can be, I think we can forget that some things are not "text book"; every situation is different & needs to be lived out & appreciated for it's uniqueness.

Such is the case with our little man. He's been plopped into this family after having already done a good bit of growing. And he is thriving. And we have watched & waited for the bottom to fall out. However, just like I do not sit & analyze my tomato plants every day on how they are growing & developing, I need to not do this with my son, either. In other words, I need to stop over-analyzing every little thing looking for "weeds". The "weeds" come in every child's life, adopted or not, so you tend to them when they come. So far, no weeds.

One of the main reasons I plant tomatoes is because I thoroughly enjoy watching them grow & produce fruit. Sounds a little like why I love bringing up a child.


Sharon said...

Those pictures are adorable. As I'm reading it's like I can just feel the peace in your heart and in your home. Praise God!
We're not at the same spot right now (adjustment-wise), in fact, I think I might be bald soon (just kidding!)but it is such a blessing to be able to read about your family! Please keep posting...

Christie said...


I'm absolutely positive that he has done so well because you and so many others prayed fervently for a smooth transition.

So many times we ask God for things and don't expect that He will deliver...well, my friend, He has delivered. Not to say that things will always be perfect, but your little boys heart has been shielded by the Father and your love has been enough for him!

I'm so glad that you have experienced an awesome transition...don't wait for the bottom to fall out, just enjoy your little boy.


Dardi said...

Thanks, girls, for your sweet comments! I speculate often about why God would make this time so smooth...Is it b/c He knew my heart was so weary from the roller coaster with Kaya? Does He know that it would be hard for Joe to continue encouraging others working with wounded children if he was "spent" from the needs of a child at home? Is it b/c He wants us to move forward with another adoption promptly? (yes, I just said that)

I don't have any concrete answers. What I do know is that I've done nothing magical (my parenting abilities are far from perfection), but we are so thankful for where we are since we do seem to be in the midst of being pulled in many directions right now. By His grace alone!!

Glad for the love & encouragement in this blog world! {{{Hugs}}}

Daisy Dreams said...

Love this post and the "weed" analogy. And as always, such sweet pictures!

Adeye said...

Beautiful post! Gosh, he really is a llittle treasure. AND--could they possibly be any cuter together?????? I think not :)

Amy said...

You rock. :0)