Just the other day, I finally put my tomato plants in the ground. For any of you "professional" gardeners out there, I am fully aware that this is very late in the season. However, I learned last year that with a little TLC, you can still bring them up to speed just fine. (Last year I had a legitimate excuse for them being planted late due to preparations for Kearsten's graduation party...this year, no excuses, just cuz!)
Anyway, a couple of posts ago, I was really struggling to find the words for K'Tyo's attachment & bonding update. As I was preparing my small garden by the garage & planting my tomato plants, I had another "moment" that helped me sort through some of my heart about this little boy's adjustment into our family (hang in there with me...I know it's not glamorous, but it made sense, so I'm going with it).
Like these tomato plants, K'Tyo came to us a bit "bigger". Like preparing my garden for the plants, I had done a lot of "preparing" for this little boy to enter our family in the form of reading all kinds of attachment literature, listening to other adoptive parents' stories, etc. While I think it's so important to go into any situation in life as educated as we can be, I think we can forget that some things are not "text book"; every situation is different & needs to be lived out & appreciated for it's uniqueness.
Such is the case with our little man. He's been plopped into this family after having already done a good bit of growing. And he is thriving. And we have watched & waited for the bottom to fall out. However, just like I do not sit & analyze my tomato plants every day on how they are growing & developing, I need to not do this with my son, either. In other words, I need to stop over-analyzing every little thing looking for "weeds". The "weeds" come in every child's life, adopted or not, so you tend to them when they come. So far, no weeds.
One of the main reasons I plant tomatoes is because I thoroughly enjoy watching them grow & produce fruit. Sounds a little like why I love bringing up a child.