Friday, January 6, 2012

Finding Words

I've made it no secret over the last few days that we have been overwhelmed by the love & support we have received from so many & that I've had trouble finding the words to explain it. This morning, I decided to do some writing in my much neglected personal journal (sorry, peeps, I don't share everything here). :o)

As I was writing & reflecting, I just flat out asked God to help me find the words. I want to share. I want to be real. I want you to understand.

After my few minutes with my journal & the Lord, I had this urge to really give my wretched dirty floor a good scrubbing. No steam mop. This bad boy needed the good old-fashioned hands & knees kind of scrubbin'. So, after getting Lil Miss down for her nap, I got everything ready & started in.

That's when the memories came that finally gave way to the words.

When I was VERY pregnant with our fifth child, Kade, we were also building our home. We were on 2 time crunches: New baby coming & our temporary digs were being razed to become more parking for a church. Thankfully, everything was falling into place, but it was still an exhausting time. Nearing the end of my pregnancy, I was physically & emotionally tired, a bit overwhelmed with everything going on, yet still trying to enjoy the anticipation of the baby that was coming. Understand, I'm not complaining. It's just that you get to a point that you are tired.

I will never forget my major meltdown moment. A friend of ours was so generous to lay the laminate floor in our downstairs, & when it was finished, I was so excited to get it all cleaned up & looking pretty. Instead, when I began mopping, it became uglier & uglier. With all the construction dust, it was just becoming a mess. I lost it, & it wasn't a pretty scene.

The next day, our friend's wife, Kim, came over with a bucket & knee pads in hand. That beautiful woman cleaned every inch of that floor for me, knowing that I just couldn't. And the next day, another friend, Michelle, came over & washed my windows. Another friend, Susan, came with a coffee cake. Other friends had come a few weeks prior & helped Joe with the painting. All just because they saw a way to step in & ease the burden. At first, it was a little uncomfortable, but then the feelings of relief came, followed by just feeling so loved. So cared for. It was such a very, very special feeling.

When I didn't think it could possibly be any sweeter, it did. I hosted a baby shower for my sister, who was also expecting, & she & some friends were in cahoots. Her baby shower became a double baby shower to include me. Blown away. Who gets to have a baby shower for their fifth child?? That people were so thoughtful, loving, & enthusiastically sharing in our joy...Yes, I cried. My heart was so full in ways different than what you experience with your husband & children. People were making themselves a very special part of that chapter of our story.

An adoption journey is much like pregnancy. Toward the end, you just get tired. Not because you're not super-excited, but because it's hard, you get thrown curve balls, you wait, I still gain weight...whatupwitdat??? Anyway...

When we found ourselves in a place of being overwhelmed & needing some help, we have had people step in. I knew the feeling was familiar, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. I guess it's just not something you have the opportunity to experience everyday. As I sat on the floor this afternoon, though, I remembered.

I feel so loved. I feel joy & enthusiasm from others that rejuvenates me in a way that nothing else can. I feel cared for. We've received prayers, support, & notes of encouragement from people we've never met face to face. Donations have come in from all over the country & Canada! We had people giving us notes & money & hugs at our daughter's basketball game last night (some were from the "other" team!). People are excited to help bring Kemeri Abigail home!

I have been in tears many times over the last few days. But it's not from's because my heart is overflowing, & it's got nowhere else to go. We are so honored to be connected to so many people through a precious little girl....Go God!!!

Thank you to every person that has jumped in so far to bring our little girl home to her family. If you'd like to see what's been going on & how you might feel led to help, please click on this link:

We feel incredibly blessed to be part of this story, and through it all, we get to see just how much the Lord loves Kemeri. As my friend Susan said, "We can't wait to see what God has in store for Kemeri's life!"

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. ~James 1:27


The Hatley Home said...

Thanks for sharing! This adoption journey is a long road... but it will all be worth it when we get to hold our precious girls! You cracked me up with your "whatupwitdat"!!! I am too asking myself that same question!!!!

Sharon said...

I love this comparison-and you, sweet friend! said...

Sooo thankful for all the friends God brings into our hearts during this journey to our children. I love your honesty, and sweet spirit of humility that shines in your posts.