Thursday, January 31, 2013

I would love that!

Recently, we've been getting some inquiries about whether or not we'll be adopting again.  Just yesterday, someone pulled up beside me at the bank & said, "I think you need a couple more kids to fill up that van!"  (Yes, I sport a 12-passenger.)  In most cases when asked, we just kind of laugh & side-step.  I'm not sure why. 
Maybe it's that defensiveness in me that is afraid of hearing a negative response should we answer with a yes. 
Maybe it's that private side of me that feels the same way I did after delivering a baby & then getting asked if you're having any more.
Funny thing was when that comment was made at the bank yesterday, I didn't even think before saying, "Oh, I would love that!"  And his response, with a smile, was, "I know you would!"  Huh.
And so there you have it.  Yes, I would love that.  I LOVE being a mommy...with all it's beautiful messiness, I love it!  There is no shame in saying that I love children & being who I am, & the realization has come that the people that know us & know our family respond to that with a knowing smile. 
Not really a direct answer, is it?  ;o)  Well, here's the thing.  We stopped saying, "We're done" a long time ago.  Our prayer instead is, "Lord, is there anyone missing?" 
Why?  Because His plans are way better than ours. 
Here are five of the reasons I trust Him more (Yes, I said five.  I included Kade in this...once upon a time, we said we were done after Kyler, but God kept placing THAT nudging on our glad I am that He did...several more times!).

Friday, January 25, 2013


It seems like she was just this little baby looking at her big sister like, "Ok, what we gonna do now?'
Now, she's still looking like, "Ok, what we gonna do now?", but it scares me a bit more.
Well, it doesn't scare me too much b/c they've both grown into beautiful young women.  And today, Kearsten left on her big adventure to do her 12 weeks of student teaching 12 hours away in South Carolina.  She will be there for 6 weeks, & then her final 6 weeks will be even further south in Celebration, FL.  I just got word that she made it safe & sound.  I am so thankful.
These kiddos growing up is a bittersweet thing.  You hope & dream for them from the day they are born to discover their passions, to dream big, & to spread their wings & fly.  I must say, though, that when you get to that "spread their wings & fly" part, it is a bittersweet time.
Here's my 3 oldest girls after Kam's basketball game last night...Kearsten wanted to get to one more game before leaving since it's Kam's senior year.  Ya, that one in the middle--She's next, & she is always looking at her sisters like, "Ok, what we gonna do now?"
How thankful I am that she has 2 beautiful sisters to help lead the way as she starts spreading those wings, too.
Kearsten Lindy ~ We love you so much & are so proud of you.  May you be impacted by this experience as much as we are sure you will impact the lives of the students that will be blessed to call you teacher in the coming weeks.  May God guide each of your days & bless them in abundance.  Love you much!!!  XO

Monday, January 21, 2013

a beautiful legacy

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.  I have a dream that one day little black boys and black girls will be... able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.  I have a dream today." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.  


I pray that if Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., were alive today that his heart would be full seeing his dream realized even more literally than what he probably envisioned.  I am so thankful for people like him that have the courage to stand against injustice & to push people to think past themselves to what could & should be in this world.  I hope that as a society, we continue learning to love, respect, & appreciate one another...that would be a beautiful legacy.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

a few things I take issue with

There are a few things that have come up in conversation lately that I am feeling the need to address, especially after the most recent one I read on FB.  Understand opinions or stance on these comments are not to address things based on my own personal discomfort.  I'm a big girl & can handle/process things, so whatever.  My stance is for my children, who are much smarter than people give them credit for, regardless of age.  They are little people with big feelings, & if they hear what you say, they also then have to process those words.  We openly talk with our children about adoption, but let's face it....little bits of conversations can plant big seeds of confusion in the minds of children.  Just some food for thought.

So, here we go...There are a few statements I take issue with regarding our adopted children:

They are so lucky to have you as parents.  While I understand that people are well-meaning with these words, they couldn't be further from the truth.  Children are lucky if they never have to lose their first families.  While we celebrate children coming into our families because we are excited to have them here, the initial reason they came here is due to loss.  My children are young & happy-go-lucky, but as they get older, they will each begin to process this loss in a different way.  I don't know what that will look like, but statements like, "you're lucky" don't seem very healthy for a child that is processing a piece of their life that may never make a whole lot of sense.  And let's face it, ANY teenager has moments they don't feel real lucky to have you as parents, anyway. 

How could a mother ever give up their child?  Unfortunately, this statement has been said one too many times right in front of my children in a very "oh my gosh, they must be the worst human beings in the world to do such a thing" kind of tone.  Wrong.  Each of my children has a different story of how they came to be in our family, but I can tell you that each of them were loved deeply.  So, how?  I really can't answer that because when push comes to shove, I don't know that I'd have the kahunas to make the unselfish, gut-wrenching choices my children's first families made for their children.  So, please, don't ask this question & make my children feel like the mother that gave birth to them must be a terrible person.  It couldn't be further from the truth.

How many real kids do you know, how many are your own?  Nine.  The answer is nine.  They are all real.  None are imaginary.  Each one I would willingly lay my life down for because they are my children.  I hate when my children hear this statement because it could make them question their real place in this family.  They have a real place, they belong, we are family.

Are you done yet?  You can't save them all, you know?  There are millions of children in this world growing up in orphanages without families.  One could argue that a child being taken out of an orphanage & brought into a family is being saved.  I get that.  HOWEVER, our choice to add to this family has come from the desire to have more children.  These children are not charity cases.  The reality is once you get off that plane (or bring that bundle home by car...we've done both), you are parenting.  You are family.  They may not have been birthed from my body, but they were birthed into our family nonetheless.  If anyone thinks they should adopt out of a sense of charity, please don't.  Children should never live with a feeling like they've been saved & should be indebted in gratitude.  I am not a savior; I am a mother. 

Mama Bear...signing off.

Friday, January 11, 2013

lookin' good!

Ever look around the house & try to figure out where in the world to even begin?  I'm there.  I finally got the Christmas boxes downstairs, but somehow a small tree still lingers in the kitchen, & the candles are still in the windows.  I'm pretty sure something exploded, but how it managed to cause mass destruction in every single bedroom is a mystery.  The bathrooms?  They need caution tape.  And I don't know who thought it was a good idea to rearrange every cupboard in my kitchen into a mish-mash of nonsense.
Anyway........I finally decided last night to start somewhere, & that somewhere was the little girls' room.  BEST. DECISION. EVER.  We cleaned.  We organized.  We took out 3 bags of unnecessary stuff.  We took down the crib. *sniff*
Tonight?  Tonight, I am happily blogging b/c the aforementioned little girls & their totally cool brother are up in that beautifully clean room having a good old time with the dress-up box that was finally put together.  They did come down long enough to show me their gorgeousness.
Per K'Tyo:  "Don't we look good?" :o)

Friday, January 4, 2013

sweet things

These are some sweet things captured on my phone's camera recently:
From K'Tyo when I had the flu (Is he not so sweet??):
Kaelee is very popular when she comes over!
Christmas Eve sleepy time!
Oh, almost Daisy Mae, our little black pug.  Well, I say "our", but technically she is Kameryn's, & Kade has partial ownership.
Happy girl to finally have her beloved pug!
Kyler insists that he doesn't like her.  MmmmHmmm....
Ella LOVES her.  She looks like Ella's mini-me.
And this...this is how I get my hair done.  Shhhh!  They just think I'm awesome for letting them play in the tub.
Alright, one more Daisy picture.  While she does not belong to me, she is mine an awful lot.  How is that?  Hard to complain, though, when first thing in the morning after coming from Kameryn's room she is all wiggles & kisses...*sigh*
P.S.  After my last post, I was touched by the comments/feedback via my blog, FB, & email.  For those of you that have struggled with the same things I have, I hope you'll join me in fighting for a new attitude for the new year about ourselves!  Since it seems I'm not alone in this, I intend to be more intentional on the topic.  Thanks for sharing & the encouragement to keep on keepin' it real!