I'm Not Doing It......

I AM NOT MAKING ANY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS!!!!!

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For real...I'm really not. This post has been rolling around in my head (& my heart) for awhile now. Not sure how it will all come out, but hopefully I can somehow share where I'm at in a way that will make sense.

When I look back over the last several years, I am amazed & overwhelmed at what God has done in my life. Now that's not some "cutesy" statement meant to drum up a pretty picture in your head about my life. It's a statement about how God has used this mess of a woman in ways that I am not capable of on my own. He has extended much grace, mercy, patience, loving-kindness & forgiveness my way, seen past my doubts, fears, questions, lack of trust (well, you get the idea b/c the list is too long) and He has used my life. Blessed my life. All I had to do was surrender it. Not an easy task for someone who wants to feel in control of EVERYTHING. And yet, being out of control has been the most wonderful place to be. I have witnessed the hand of God at work in ways I could not have conjured up in my most creative moment.

So, this was my "ah-ha" moment: I cannot, will not, no I won't make any New Year's resolutions. Know why? Because they are based in me, in my own power, taking control of stuff. Whether it's about my weight, my exercise habits, my commitments to reading the bible, my patience with the kids, my finances, my not yelling at expressing my frustration with the basketball officials for being less than perfect when my baby is out there being hacked on, etc., etc., it's all about me "fixing" something. Nope, not doing it. I'm setting myself up for failure which leads to guilt, frustration, disappointment...basically all the crap that the enemy wants me to buy into.

"Whatever has been born of God conquers the world. This is the victory that has conquered the world: our faith." ~1 John 5:4

I am so thankful that God has not left me "where I am". He has convicted me of many things & is continually transforming me. If He knows me better than I know myself, then why in the world would I try to take over my transformation?

Growth in depth and strength and consistency and fruitfulness and ultimately in Christlikeness is only possible when the winds of life are contrary to personal comfort.

~ Anne Graham Lotz

To say that the winds of my life have blown contrary to personal comfort seems an understatement sometimes, but I KNOW that God knew then what I continue to discover now & He knows what is to come. Instead of resolutions, I offer the Lord a prayer of surrender:

Dear Lord, I thank you for the blessings & growth this past year has brought. I pray that you continue to lead me. Take my faith that seems the size of a mustard seed sometimes & increase it. Take my life...continue to transform my mind & my heart so that I can be your servant in my marriage, in my family, in my community & in this world. When life gets hard, convict me to re-focus on You...that I can fully trust that You go before me in all things. As I step into a New Year, I look forward with much hope and anticipation to the plans that you have. May I live my life in such a way that I'm always ready to "step out of the boat".

In Jesus' Name ~ Amen

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours!

Cookies & Elves

Today was the first day off of school, so we decided to trash the kitchen make cutout cookies for Christmas. We do this every year, and Kaya was totally into it this year!

Then, the "elves" came!! You see, every year, these same elves do something very similar to ding-dong-ditching, but much nicer! Out of nowhere, there will be a loud knocking on the door, & when we answer, there is no one there! However, there will be a special goody bag on our front step with a note & instructions for whatever is inside. This year, the bag was full of cardboard snowflake ornaments ready to be decorated with snow from the North Pole. The note was, once again, so special & a beautiful reminder of what this season is all about. It's too good not to share, so here you go:

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Dear Friends,

Christmas is a time of miracles! Just imagine--God sent us His son to be born in a stable! What a precious gift!

At the North Pole, we are getting ready to help the world celebrate that special gift! each year, we have our "Snowflake Party" at the beginning of December. Snow is ever-present here. It blankets our world just as God's love gently covers our sins with His grace. each snowfall is a shower of blessings sent from heaven. Each flake is so intricate and individual--so special, just like you!

We hope that you will use this symbol of the season to make your own distinct snowflake for Santa to see. He will be happy to see that you remember how much God loves you! Be good and share that precious love!

~ THE ELVES

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This has become such an anticipated event--God bless those elves for surprising the kids every year (10+ years!) with a beautiful gift to remind them what it's all about!!

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I had to laugh, though, b/c after our cleanup from the initial sprinkle-fest, I got out more wax paper for round 2! Kaya discovered that these sprinkles didn't taste nearly as good, but they sure are pretty!

And to top off all this fun stuff, we found out that our dossier is on its way to Ethiopia!! One step closer to bringing our blessing home!

Signs & Wonders

Okay, seriously, I was originally going to do this post & title it "Sort of a Rant" because I have been really annoyed a few times recently at some reactions we have received when people find out we are expecting our 7th child through adoption. However, I took a breather, switched around a load of laundry, & decided a rant would not make me feel better right now, but focusing on God's truth would. (Disclosure: There may be a day for a rant, so don't blast me if it comes one of these days! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, ya know?)

Anyway, we were discussing miracles & signs last week in our small group. Do we think God still gives us signs today? Are there still miracles happening? I believe so! I believe as we are walking on the path that God has made for us, we encounter stumbling blocks, confusion, fear, negative reactions (hang on...not going on a rant, just giving some examples!). However, just when I think I must be headed in the wrong direction, or that I'm completely NUTS for going in the direction I am pointed in, time & time again God has given me "signs". They've come in various forms, but ALWAYS undeniably from Him. Here's an example that I was recently sharing with a friend:

With it being Christmas, I think about a journal entry from several years back when I was in a women's group & we were really digging in to our relationship with God in our daily lives. I wrote something like, "I want to be a child on Christmas again; waiting in anticipation & being surprised." I think I had gotten into a feeling of being in a "rut"--predictable, boring-type living. Mind you, this was WAY before adoption entered into the picture. Last year at Christmas, we heard a wonderful sermon that was pretty much about this very thing. I was so excited about it b/c it made me remember that journal entry & to see how God had truly surprised me in my life. I wanted to come home & journal it, but I could not find my journal anywhere. I pulled out the old one that I had used for that women's group figuring I could at least get it written down. When I opened it, I went to my last entry. Get this: the date was 8-6-05...that was EXACTLY two years before Kaya was born. My entry simply stated, "I want to surrender and trust in You."

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Praising God for His gifts, wrapped in all His beauty & glory, surprising us in ways we wouldn't have guessed ~ Dardi

I guess this was brought to mind again during our sermon yesterday. Our pastor was speaking of the times that life is uncomfortable, but we must "hang on", because the story continues...the moments, however brief (a few discouraging words/reactions) or long, are all part of the story. But the good news is that He is ALWAYS here, in EVERYTHING, & He does provide "signs & wonders" to keep us moving on our way. Notice that the above story takes place last Christmas, & the journal entry was from 2005...4 years ago! Sometimes, the encouragement is not instantaneous, but it does come & how marvelous it is when you can see how God began writing your story before you were even aware of what was to come.

I am a work in progress, folks. But one thing I'm trying to do more is see God's hand in every detail of my life, even the tough ones, because I know that He is not leaving me in one spot. I confess that I have struggled a lot over the years chasing the "American Dream"...I'm praying every day to not be enslaved to my flesh so that I can fully live amidst the story that is unfolding in me that is "God's Dream" for my life.

My desire back in 2005 was to be like a child on Christmas, waiting in anticipation & being surprised by God. I am still there...How can I not be? Life can be hard, but God is so good, so I continue on the path set before me 'cause I don't want to miss a thing!

Be Blessed ~ Dardi

Thankful Thursday

Honestly, I almost blew off my "Thankful Thursday" post...here it is, 7 minutes to Friday, & I couldn't do it. I had to post. Why? Maybe because it's good to see things to be thankful for; to praise God, even in the storms. We have been in a very unexpected storm since last Thursday. We are grieving an unexpected, tragic death in the family, and it's been hard. But here goes....

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I am thankful that today our completed home study arrived. This is such wonderful news because it enabled me to send in ALL the paperwork (dossier, I-600A), so we are taking steps in the right direction to bring our son home from Ethiopia.

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I am thankful that some very sweet adoptive parents that just got home from Ethiopia shared some new photos of our beautiful little boy (can't wait 'til I can share them!).

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I am thankful for the big hearts of our children. I love them so much.

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I am thankful for the encouragement of family & friends during life's ups & downs.

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I am thankful for the generosity of others. We took a big leap of faith this week & sent out "mission" letters to help raise funds for our adoption. It is so awesome to see other people jump into this journey with us. Just today, a dear friend stopped by the house & gave us their whole jar of saved coins! Joe had someone come into his office saying they wanted to be part of things, & they didn't even get a letter...they just heard about our adoption & wanted to be part of bringing this little boy into his forever family!! I cannot express how loving prayers & gestures make my heart want to burst........

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I am thankful that God is the same yesterday as He is today as He will be tomorrow--He is Good!

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Be Blessed, Friends ~ Dardi

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful that in the midst of anything & everything, God is there to provide strength and encouragement in ways that are amazing.

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I am thankful that Joe continues to step in faith & obedience to encourage others working with wounded children. I am thankful that God opens doors in remarkable ways.

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I am thankful that God has placed us into a church community that encourages people to live outside this world's normal. How exciting is that!?!

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I am thankful for trusted friends & prayer partners.

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I am thankful for this season filled with lights, excitement & anticipation for the birth of our Savior, who makes all things possible.

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I have much to be thankful for, these things are but a few. Thanks for letting me share them with you. I will leave you with one final scene that I was so thankful for last evening:

This is my daughter's high school basketball team over for a team dinner. She came home late Tuesday & said, "We were trying to figure out what to do for a team dinner, & I thought it would be okay for us just to have it. Tomorrow." I love that girl...honestly, she truly is my daughter b/c I am totally about a house full of people & being spontaneous! I was so thankful to have kids everywhere & to get to feed them, too!! And thankful that my daughter knows that her momma can't resist! What a neat group of girls!! Life is good..........

Pickle Jars & Charlie Brown Christmas Trees

As you know, we are in the process of adopting again. Back in September, we began collecting money in a pickle jar (thanks to a trend my friend Amy began on her blog) as our first step of faith knowing that God was calling us to adopt again. It has touched my heart to see our children wanting to help fill that pickle jar! Kade pushed & pushed for me to have a garage sale. Reluctantly, I did, & don't you know we filled that pickle jar enough to pay for our homestudy! The faith of a child is a beautiful thing!! Bless his heart, he turns this house upside down on a regular basis finding loose change. He even finds change on the playground & comes running home with it. Kaya has joined in & when I get change at the store, she immediately says, "In jar!!" And then there was Kaelee...she's my school teacher in training, so I asked her if she would make a sign for the pickle jar. I'm thinking "PICKLE JAR", but she comes marching in with the jar all decked out saying our favorite family slogan, "O'Hana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." Oh, my heart.

So, are you wondering yet what in the world our pickle jar has to do with a Charlie Brown Christmas tree? I'm getting there...hang with me. Saturday, our family headed out for one of this momma's favorite traditions: picking out the Christmas tree. We go to a wonderful local place where we get to go on a wagon ride and enjoy hot chocolate & cookies. Our goal this year was to NOT get a tree that was too tall. Out in that big field, they tend to not look that big, but we always end up getting one that is too tall, which of course is also more expensive. Well, we got out to the field & couldn't decide exactly how tall each tree was. It began to get really, really cold, so we decided to head back to the barn & look at the trees that were already cut & priced. Usually you can find a pretty nice one...they just pre-cut some from some of the fields that only have a few trees left. The kids were so cold that they left us to pick one while they went in to have hot chocolate. Let's just say that my definition of a Charlie Brown tree has nothing really to with size, but everything to do with the fact that it's a tree that no one wants. I'm a rather nostalgic person, & I always remember my grandma having these short, fat Christmas trees that were more round than triangular in shape. Yep, I found a tree that was so fat, no top, & a far cry from my usual "perfect" fir. When the kids came out, they were pretty much, um, horrified! Once it had been shoved through that netting-thingy & strapped to the top of our truck, Kyler did not hesitate to tell me that it looked like a giant turd! Ye of little faith....

Does this look like a turd?

We are praying for our pickle jar to overflow so that we can bring home our little boy. Where some might see the "unwanted" or "the least of these", I see the potential for something that is going to bring beauty & a special twinkle into our family. There you have it: Pickle Jars & Charlie Brown Christmas Trees! :o) Treasures just waiting to be discovered!

Sunday Snapshot: Family

For my Sunday Snapshot, I thought I would share some of my favorite pictures of our family time on Thanksgiving. I love getting together with family!!

My girls: Kaelee, Kaya, Kearsten (aka KiKi) & Kam

I am amazed at how well Kaya & my nephew, Karson, get along. So sweet!

Me & My Pumpkin

Is this not such a sweet picture??

Grandpa (my dad) with Kyler & Kade...what's Thanksgiving without video games & ipods?

KiKi with Grandpa & the Puppies (not our puppies, thank you very much)

My Aunt Jackie & Uncle Gary...so gracious to open their home to our crew!!

Lots of visiting...such good stuff!! My mom is between my grandparents...I feel so blessed to still have them so actively involved in our lives!

Wonderful food, wonderful family, wonderful memories!

My next post: My Version of a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree :o)

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Be Blessed ~ Dardi

The Blind Side

Okay, I am totally not a movie nut, movie critic, or anything of the sorts. Shoot, I can't even tell you the last time I set foot in a movie theater, but last night we splurged & took all 8 of us to see "The Blind Side".

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IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!!

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Seriously, we (I'm talking ALL of us) were completely engaged in the movie from beginning to end. I had heard it was a great movie, but having some personal experience with the foster care system & big hearts for adoption, I was a little reserved. I don't want to sound pessimistic, but let's face it, most movies I've seen are "fun", but not real. I have to say that I was more than pleased at how they put this movie together...did it show all of the tough stuff? No, but it addressed some of the bigger, obvious struggles that go along with bringing an older child of another race into your home. And it was so AWESOME to see a family that took their "neat & tidy" life & threw it out the window to give & receive blessings so much bigger than any struggles that they faced.

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I would totally love to have a discussion about the movie, but since not everyone has seen it yet, I don't want to give away too much. There are two things I do want to share, though, that had me BAWLING: First of all, without sharing the details, I was so touched at how they did not make "Big Mike's" mother into a villain, but showed Sandra Bullock*s character actually honoring her & having compassion for her life circumstances. It was really beautiful, in my opinion, & touched me so much because that was one of the biggest life lessons I learned on our journey to Kaya. Second, she was at lunch with friends & one of them made the comment, "You're changing that boy's life". LOVED her response: "No, he's changing mine." Does that not just sum up adoption!?! It's so hard b/c people want to make you out to be some sort of saint or something; I've always wished I could simply, but adequately, put it into words to try to make people understand!

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In the end, I think the saddest part of the movie was when the lights went on in the theater. I looked around & you could see that people loved the movie (actually, there were applause at the end), but I was sad because I wonder how many people walked out never realizing they could be the lead character in a similar story...........

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I love Thanksgiving! I try to have a thankful heart every day, but it's extra special to have a day to focus on all the good stuff, have an awesome meal full of tradition with extended family & just being together!

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This Thanksgiving, I am particularly thankful that our adoption is finalized with Kaya.

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I am thankful that God sees past the limitations I set for myself & uses me in ways I could never have imagined or planned for on my own.

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I am thankful that He has given me a devoted, faithful husband to share every up & down with.

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I am thankful that our home is full of children & activity...never a dull moment!!

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I am thankful that we are on a journey to our beautiful little boy in Ethiopia (which, by the way, our homestudy is getting the finishing touches & our dossier is DONE!!! Woo-Hoo!)

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I am thankful for this crazy world of technology that has enabled me to develop special friendships with people I haven't even met in person (yet!).

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I am thankful that my mom makes a kickin' pecan pie that we get to enjoy very soon!

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Happy Thanksgiving!! Blessings ~ Dardi

Risk, Rain & Blessing

Can I be honest with you? REALLY honest? If not, don't read any further because, well, it's my blog & I'm gonna be as honest as I can be about a couple of things. Why? Because I don't ever want anyone to think my world is perfect, that I even begin to think I have it all figured out or that I'm not downright frustrated and afraid sometimes. Just keepin' it real...

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So, honestly, LIFE IS DOWNRIGHT HARD SOMETIMES. This has been brewing in my head for a bit, but right now it seems to break down like this:

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RISK

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I just happened upon this...I'm sorry, I don't know who wrote it, but it was too relevant not to share:

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To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return,

To live is to risk dying,

To hope is to risk despair,

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,

But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

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RAIN

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By playing it safe, by not taking risks, maybe we can avoid suffering or sorrow (the rain)...for a time. But at what cost?

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BLESSING

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Blessings come in all shapes, sizes & forms. I have come to understand that blessing does NOT equal piece of cake with whip cream & a cherry on top. My interpretation has evolved over time, & will probably continue to evolve, but for now I believe that blessings come with different degrees of responsibility and moments of sheer joy & pain mixed in.

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Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. ~James 1:2-4, 12

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Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, HOPE. ~Romans 5:3-4

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I praise God because He gives us the opportunity to live out loud for HIM...not this world's idea of "living" (the "me" thing), but, as our associate pastor so eloquently put it last Sunday, He has commissioned us to live differently so that we can "liberate the imaginations of others that there is a different way". Our lives seem to have stepped completely out of the box into territory that we could not have imagined years ago: Our hearts have been broken for the fatherless, and we are in the process of adopting our 2nd child, which means we will have 7 children--not exactly "normal"; Joe is beginning work on his 2nd book and continues to be invited to speak, teach & encourage others on how to work with wounded children. We are flying above the radar like a big ol' jumbo jet, and while we are thankful, it also gets hard sometimes. When you put yourself out there with your convictions, which don't seem to look like the "American Dream", you are left open to criticism, judgment & spiritual attack. But for us, the blessing of this life that we have been called to far outweighs the risk & the rain...we choose to live...

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Lord, we want to live for Your kingdom, not the kingdom of this world. Help us to confidently & courageously take risks, knowing that life gets hard, that the rain will come, but also KNOWING that we have been called & that You are bigger than any of the "tough stuff". We ask for encouragement so that we may continue to walk in the blessings You desire for us. We claim this day the freedom that comes with taking risks ~ In Jesus' Name, Amen

Sunday Snapshot

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KYLER!!!

Today, Kyler is 14 Years Old, so he gets to be the focus of my "Sunday Snapshot"!

Kyler, I am so proud to say that you are my son! Your sense of humor, constant laughter & compassion for others (especially children) makes me smile. We love you beyond words... this family would not be the same without you!! Happy 14th birthday, Kyler-man!!

Thankful Thursday

One of the many things I am thankful for is my husband. I am thankful that he loves the Lord, he loves & encourages me, he is a good daddy & that we are walking this road of faith together. It is good to have someone by your side that knows you, dreams with you, & it doesn't hurt that the man can cook, too!

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Happy Thursday! ~Dardi

Sunday Snapshot

I got this idea for "Sunday Snapshot" from another blog (see button on the side), & I loved it, especially since I've had two years of not being able to share the photos of our little girl! So, today's focus of my Sunday Snapshot is Miss Kaya Ashley Faith...sorry for the break in some pics, for some reason between 4 months & one year, I didn't have the photos on my computer. Those will be for another day! ;o)

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This is our peanut, right after she came home, all 4 lbs. 15 oz. of her! These clothes were preemie & still too big!!

First Family Picture!


Christmas, 2007

You're really gonna let me touch that!?!

Pumpkins are pretty exciting!!

Christmas, 2008

Doing Homework With Brother

The Princess on Her Throne at the Beach

Easter, 2009

Balloonfest

Posing with the Monkey...It's a long story that involves a certain Daddy that is wrapped around a little girl's finger!

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Go Arrows!!

Trick-or-Treat, 2009...Disclosure: this will forever drive me crazy that this picture uploaded wrong b/c I am obsessive about such things, but I do not have the time or patience to figure out how to fix it, so tilt your head & you will enjoy the picture! :o)

So, this is a glimpse into the past two wonderful years with our blessing. Praising God that we get the privilege of watching her continue to grow. Kaya, we love you sooooo much!!

Beautiful Day & The Cat's Outta the Bag!!

Today, we dedicated Kaya in church. It was absolutely awesome to stand before family & friends to proclaim this child for the Lord. While we've prayed over her many times over the last two years, we weren't allowed to do anything "official" before she was adopted. After church, we enjoyed a time of fellowship & celebration. Little did I know that my husband had been working behind the scenes on a very special surprise (he totally caught me off guard & brought me to tears). I have attached a picture of a picture that was done especially for our family by Matt, a college student that goes to our church. God has given him an amazing gift & I am so thankful that he shared it with us!



This doesn't do it justice, but I had to share. It is full of such special meaning, I don't even know where to begin, but I want to explain. First, it shows our family walking on the beach, which is where Joe & I have lifted some pretty intense prayers to our Father. It also shows us together as a family walking in His light & in the sand is written "O'hana means family, & family means no one gets left behind or forgotten" (crying again). But this is the most wonderful part...and this is where the "cat is let out of the bag"...if you'll notice all of us, including Kaya on the far right, are holding hands, but on the left, it shows our son Kyler's hand outstretched waiting to grab onto somebody...

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Friends, that little boy is our son........

He is three years old, & he is waiting for us in Ethiopia!

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Yes, God has shown us this is where our next journey is taking us. If you look back in my blog, there is a post "Praying His Will". It is amazing what happens when you ask God what it is you're supposed to be doing. We are thrilled, scared, excited...you name, we're feeling it! But we have said, "Here am I, send me!" & the Lord has said, "Go." We're walkin' by faith, baby.......

Be Blessed ~ Dardi

Pictures from Adoption Day

Feeling a little bashful, but safe with Daddy!

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Hmm, this guy's not all bad...He's giving me something pink!

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The Whole Gang
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I love Kiki!!

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Family Dinner at the Cheesecake Factory

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CHEESECAKE!!!!

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Special trip to Build-a-Bear...Rubbing my heart on my belly

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Giving Bear a "Bath"
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Loving my new bear, "Tu" (Everything seems to have the name "Tu" these days)

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These are a few pictures from our adoption day (not the greatest pic quality...you'll have days like that!). We really enjoyed spending some special time together as a family. For someone that loves being the center of attention, Kaya was pretty bashful at the court hearing. I don't blame her...it's kind of intimidating! We enjoyed dinner out & then a trip to Build-a-Bear where we all put our "hearts" into her special bear. Fun day!!

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We are looking forward to this Sunday. We have arranged to have Kaya dedicated in church, and being that it is Orphan Sunday, we felt it was an appropriate day. We are excited to share this time with family & friends that have walked this journey with us. Yay!!!

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Be Blessed ~ Dardi